As If...

I don't have an ego problem I'm just a handsome brute
I can drive fast cars, bare back ride and even clay pigeon shoot
I am James Dean and Russell Crowe all rolled into one
I'm just your all round perfect guy, the original sun of a gun.

I have a gentle personality, and can dance like Fred Astaire
My skin has not a blemish and I have the perfect head of hair,
I can speak six different languages and it's quiet plain to see
That every man who has ever walked wishes he were me.

The life I lead is one of bliss, like the wind I am carefree
I don't have to look for love, woman fall all over me,
I 'd like to find the perfect one, have her cradled in my arms
And give her never ending love and she could share my charm.

I hear you ask "Who is this guy" the THOR of the modern era
Would you like to meet this man one day to get the picture clearer,
Would you be humbled in his presence and bow at his command
And wait upon him hand and foot, fulfill all his demands?

The answer is found deep within all those who hear this story
The question is, "Does this man exist, this man of solemn glory"
Some women will say, "this is the man" the dream they long and hanker
I hear a chorus of men cry out, AS IF!.........what a bloody wanker.

By Lindsay Steinhardt